Whose Behind the Pen…and Why I Blog

Whose behind the pen…and why I blog.

Many writers will tell you they’ve been writing from a very young age…that writing is in their blood. Not so for me. I never dreamed of writing nor did I ever plan to be a writer. Writing for me came from a love of history that turned into a love of words.

I’ve written stories in my head since I was a young child. However, I never viewed it as writing rather as a way to quiet my mind and fall asleep. At night when the worries of the day would flood my mind…racing…zipping from one concern to the next I would shut them down by acting out stories in my mind–a game I played–unto I fell into dreamland.IMG_8180

I’ve always loved reading and learning about history. I acquired a teaching degree and planned to teach American history. God had other plans…I would homeschool my four children.

About eight years ago, after years of reading historical fiction, I thought it might be fun to write a historical fiction story of my own. I began authoring pages and found that I truly enjoyed writing, but as you know life has a way of getting busy. And busy life did get…unbelievably busy!

Busy at my own hands…saying, “Yes,” when I should have said, “No.” People pleasing was an idol that drove my every decision. People pleasing came as naturally to me as breathing, an unconscious decision to keep peace…peace at all cost! Conflict was so uncomfortable that I would do almost anything to avoid it.

It is often hard to get people to volunteer their services…and once it is found out that you are willing to help… you, suddenly, are in demand. I began serving in my children’s classrooms at church and one “yes” turned into two, and in a few years time I was the energizer bunny! My family and I practically lived at church…helping with this event or another.

We ran around this hamster wheel for several years…sacrificing family…sacrificing our children. I was serving an idol…people pleasing…not God. In 2010, I began to hear the Lord whisper…slow…cut back! I refused to listen…people pleasing was my lifeline…I feared man more than my God.

I and my family didn’t have the stamina for the pace we were keeping. I, my husband, and my children are all introverts–we need time alone to recharge. I battled depression which stole my energy and I homeschooled my four children which, I’m sure you know, takes a great deal of time.

One should be able to walk away from serving without fear of backlash, but I could not. I had witnessed others who had walked away and I knew all to well what can happy when one steps away from serving. I want to be very clear this was not a church wide problem…only a few, but even a few can make things uncomfortable if you are the one to upset their apple cart.

My family was in crisis by the fall of 2012…my children asked…begged, really, to stay home, but I feared the fallout to such a degree that I refused…and we stayed on the hamster wheel. I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually depleted. I got up each morning and willed myself to go through the motions. I was at the end of my rope. I wondered how long, I could keep up the charade, before my will would break and my world would come tumbling down.

Miserable is, much, too tame a word to describe how I was feeling…angry, wounded, betrayed, hopeless, tormented, and nearly destroyed…would be better choices. Sarcasm began to ooze from my lips it was the only way I could continue to step through the pain. I didn’t like who I saw in the mirror…certainly not an example of Christ!

Sin is ugly…it draws one in promising false gods and it hurts the sinner, as well, as those around them…especially those whom the sinner loves. My idol “people pleasing” had to go! God was tired of playing second fiddle to man. He used that fall to get my attention, to break the chains of people pleasing, and to give me true freedom…bondage to an idol is not freedom.

How? Depression…it hovered like a heavy fog…stole my energy and eventually brought me to my knees. Two weeks, before Christmas God placed the final straw on my back and my house of cards came tumbling down. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually I was done! I gave the reins of my life over to the Lord.

I stopped serving outside my home and my family and I rested. My family physician helped me to get my depression under control and the healing began. It takes time to heal and I was careful not to jump back into the deep end before I was ready. God had shown me were my loyalties needed to lie and I have determined to only serve where God leads and no other place.

It was during this time that I felt the Lord leading me to start blogging…I know, God has a funny sense of timing.

I didn’t know the first thing about blogging, I’m computer challenged, and the only blog I’d read was Ann Voskamps. Even so, I started this blog. I wrote what God laid on my heart and thus this blog began.

I write in hopes of encouraging my readers. When you stop by, I hope that you will read something that will make your day a little sweeter.

If God wills, this year, I would like to begin writing more personal memories like Married Times Two on Christmas…Once in Kentucky…Once in Ohio. I also would like to write some fiction for you to read, and I will continue to write whatever God lays on my heart.

Writing brings me great joy, it helps me to capture my thoughts, and I hope it will be a blessing and an encouragement to you.

Blessings, Kasey

Advertisements

20 thoughts on “Whose Behind the Pen…and Why I Blog

  1. I’m glad you slowed down and learned to say, “No.” Isn’t it funny that God can be more pleased with you for saying “No” to helping at church related activities than saying “Yes”? And that’s the truth. 🙂 Thanks for linking on Amanda’s Books and More!

    Like

    • Christina, Yes…God wants us to learn to make Him Lord of our lives! That’s hard to do when one puts man’s wishes over Gods. Thanks for sharing an encouragement! Blessings, Kasey

      Like

    • Oh, Sweet Friend, It does my heart good to hear that you were encouraged. God gives us one another to build and care for each other. I’ve decided to post more of my life story later tonight, I hope you will be able to pop back over and view it. Have a blessed week. Grace and peace to you, Kasey

      Like

  2. Kacey, How authentic are your words. I can relate on so many levels. I am a homeschooling mama too. My husband is a bi vocational youth pastor. The depression you speak of I understand. I went through a very similar experience that had people pleasing as my idol. I look forward to reading more of your write. I blog at http://www.reflectinghisglory.com and would love for you stop by sometime.

    Like

    • Jacqui, WoW! We have so many things in common…I popped over to your blog. We are practically neighbors…I live in Southwestern Ohio…thirty minutes form the Indiana border. I have 2 boys and 2 girls all with L names (18-11). I’ve been married twenty-one years as of Dec. 2014. We have always homeschooled our children…our oldest will graduate in the spring. After receiving several heartfelt comments on yesterday’s post I decided to get even more real and post more of my story today. So glad to meet you. Blessings and grace, Kasey

      Like

  3. Kasey, this is a tale that rings far too close to my belt…at least it did! I have walked away from that hamster cage at church as I took my caregiving of my mother most seriously. God was in those 15 years with me most of the time. Yes, there were times when I could not allow a day to go by without going to see Mama, but I learned and was able to allow another precious Christian woman to tend to her special needs two nights a week with pay and I let go to be with my husband on those evenings. Mama passed away to be with the Lord almost two years ago. I am learning still just what I can do and am listening for God’s call and trying to wait for Him before any more leaping happens.
    Thank you for being so open and honest about this as I understand. I have a hard time saying ‘no’ and I like to be liked and needed. I do not want those as idols either. Glad we are neighbors today at Lisa’s.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    Like

    • Sweet Linda, We women have so many things in common. When we get real and share the hardships of life, then we begin to really bless one another. I know taking care of your mother couldn’t have been easy…but what an example of Christ you are. I so very much appreciate your sharing. Later tonight I will be sharing more of my story, hope you can stop back by. Have a blessed week! Grace and peace, Kasey

      Like

  4. Your writing is a blessing and taking the time to be so real with us and laying your heart out there for all to see takes courage and strength. I have had the pleasure to visit your blog a few times and I have been blessed each time. Thank you for sharing your journey. Blessings, Mary!

    Like

    • Sweet Mary, Thank you for your kind words. Last summer and fall (2014) I wrote almost my entire life story, and after receiving so many heartfelt comments from this post I’ve decided to share more of my story…people pleasing…etc. Will be posting it later tonight…hope you will pop over and view it. Blessings and grace, Kasey

      Like

  5. So blessed to have read your post. It’s great to know you were able to break free from people pleasing and find a new direction of service that God has specifically called you to. I have struggled with people pleasing myself at times, and your post was a reminder to always put God first. Have a wonderful day,

    Like

    • People pleasing is a hard habit to break…mostly because it’s automatic…you do it even before you realize you are doing it. However, the fall of 2012 I was fully aware that I was pleasing man rather than God. Thankfully our Heavenly Father loves us too much to leave us in our sin. Thank you for stopping by and sharing! Grace and peace to you, Kasey

      Liked by 1 person

  6. People pleasing is definitely a struggle for me. I actually just started The Best Yes by Lysa Teurkurst and it’s wonderful. Thank you for your transparency. I am a brand new to blogging and vowed to myself to stay transparent during this journey. Loved reading this. thank you.

    Like

    • Nicole, You are so very welcome. People pleasing is not an easy thing to lay down…because we usually don’t realize were doing it until we’ve already said, “Yes.” I have Lysa’s book, but I haven’t had time to read it just yet…but I’ve heard good things about it. Blogging is a fun endeavor…we get to meet people we never would have otherwise. Good luck and have fun! Thanks so much for sharing your words…I love hearing what others are thinking. Blessings and grace, Kasey

      Like

    • Jennifer, People pleasing has a way of draining the life out of you…you wake up one day and don’t even know who you are anymore. God, however, is faithful to deliver us from the things that we give more time than Him. I know how hard it is to stop the bad habit of people pleasing, good for you for addressing this issue. Blessings and grace, Kasey

      Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s