Control is an illusion. At best it gives us a false sense of security. When our world begins spinning wildly–our schedules blow-up (too much to do, too little time to do it), financial crisis, unfavorable diagnosis, or a relationship collapses–we grasp at anything to gain a sense that we can determine the outcome of our circumstances. With urgency we tell ourselves we must have control; and we even begin to believe that we have the ability to control.
We do not! There’s only One who does and that’s the One who spoke the world into existence, hung the moon and the stars in the heavens, created man in His image, and has a plan and a purpose for each and every one of us…they just might not be our plans. But we fool ourselves when we believe we can just manage–clamp down, iron fist–things, people, situations, and pretty much everything.
Control becomes a greedy monster demanding to be fed. The more we feed it the more it demands until it has us struggling every moment of every day with how to satisfy its infinite hunger. Control will not be silenced, it will not be tamed, and it will not let us go! It becomes our master–it owns us–our every thought, every action, and every desire like a raging fire. It becomes the center of our universe…not God. It becomes a sin. “You must not have any other god but me. Exodus 20:3.
Control leads to broken hearts, broken people, and broken relationships. Controlling puts us in a jail cell of our own making…strangling the life from us and not just us…but those whom we love. Our controlling also puts our loved ones behind bars… in a cell…we crafted just for them. Their cages house crumbled spirits, hearts ripped and shredded, and souls filled with anger, stress, frustration, defeat, nervousness, and fear!
When we control we must manage everything and everyone. We believe–falsely–that we know the best way to do everything…the right way to do everything…the most efficient, resourceful way to do everything. Year after year the monster has been giving us rules–adding, always adding to the list. These rules make us–falsely believe–that if we keep them all…our lives will go well. The only problem with this is that the monster only whispered the rules to us–secretly. Our loved ones don’t know the rules, therefore, they do not follow them. Even if they knew the rules, they couldn’t follow them, because the rules are always changing. When the rules are broken the monster rises up and we feel–out of control, threatened, and completely unsettled and we are willing to take any steps necessary to quite the monster.
Slaying the monster (control) is not going to be easy…it’s going to be hard. It’s not going to feel good, it’s going to feel uncomfortable and were going to want to quit. WE MUST NOT! When Christ our Lord died upon that cross…to take our sins…it didn’t feel good. He was spat upon, beaten–cut, ripped, blooded–and nailed upon a cross. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21.
We are new creations. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17. We are to live in the Spirit–not be bound by sin. For he who is called in the Lord while a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called while free is Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves to men. Brethren let each one remain with God in that state in which he was called. 1 Corinthians 7:22-24. And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us; which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it. Colossians 2:13-15. When we make controlling behavior, our god, we are sinning. It’s time to break the chains that bind us and live in the spirit. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. And do not present your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under the law but under grace. Romans 6:12-14.
I know this is heavy stuff, but I hope it will be a help to someone.
Count blessings, Kasey